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snowcalla in labyrinthseeds

If you just want the meditations and do not want to read more personal things about my journey with kore...don't click.

I finished my dedication. I am a mess. Is that what happened to you? I am very happy, but mostly I am a wreck.

I like to plan things and I like them to go according to plan. This didn't. I bathed, I relaxed, I was ready to be receptive. I wasn't ready for a surge of feeling - not like that. I wasn't ready to empty my soul and lay it all out for Her. It wasn't pretty, and I soooo wanted it to be pretty. Nice and neat.

Instead I was sobbing. And not all from pain and sorrow, though there was that. From the message that I didn't kill that happy, fearless, vibrant girl I used to be. I thought she was dead. And I thought my mistakes killed her. Instead I found out that I had turned my back on her. And she has been waiting for me all alone in the dark.

I'm having a really hard time with this. I can still feel the flowers and thyme wreathing my hair.

I'll try to be coherent tomorrow.


I am very happy that you are sharing the details. I think I have felt similar things before. I spent a period of time avoiding Persephone and when I came back to her, the experience I had sounds similar.

May you have peace and love in Persephone's arms.
I have nothing to add other than I think this experience will prove valuable for you in times to come. Thank you for sharing with us! Bright Blessings!
I'm trying to write this down before it floats away - I want to remember it!

I had this vision? thought? idea? of how my life and life in general (there wasn't really a distinction) was this circle. I don't think I'm talking about reincarnation, or the afterlife, or anything so specific. It was of time itself, perhaps?

It was during the moment when I realized that I AM still that young girl I used to be. That she still exists, not just in memory, o9r as something to recapture...but exists right now. Just as an older me exists right now. And it can all exist right now because time isn't linear at all. It is a circle that doesn't repeat, can't repeat, because it is all NOW.

Damn...I can't get this out into words at all. You know how you look into a fun house mirror and see yourself reflected over and over and over into what looks like infinity? It was like that, but each reflection was different, yet all moved the same. And yet, it wasn't just me in the mirror it was everything. Does that make sence to anyone?
It makes perfect sense--things are a constant in parallels, not an evolution. I know the feeling very well. ^_^
Makes perfect sense here too; it's non-dualism you're talking about here, which is something very difficult to explain nad comprehend, but it's the reason I can say "all Gods are one" and mean it. But it's morning time and I'm about to start working, so possibly on Tuesday (when I'll again have access to a computer that goes online) I'll go into it and be more coherent myself. But, I am glad that things are going well for you, sometimes the Gods need to make things unpretty for us to "get it" *smiles* Blessed Be, Calla.

May 2007

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